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    Morrigan

    I'm Mary, 28 y.o. photographer, youtuber and aspiring writer based in Poland. I don't speak too much, that's why I write a lot. Also about mental health. I love art, video making, music, video games and nature. House Targaryen.
    All photos posted in here belong to me, unless stated otherwise. Please do not copy without my permission.


    I close myself in nature, because that’s the thing that heals me. The wind, flawless sky, birds singing their little songs. Such a beautiful thing to fall into when you feel wrong. Not okay.
    Two days ago I wrote in my diary that I’m fine. I was so happy. And then I woke up on Saturday morning and nothing was the same anymore.
    I am angry. Madly angry with myself.
    This is the day I blame myself for my own state.

    If you’re from Poland you may want to visit my new place - CLICK. This is a little corner where I make opinions. Where things are ugly.

    You know what? Prince Harry got married. I knew you had no idea. I cried.


    . Saturday, May 19, 2018 .

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    . Thursday, May 10, 2018 .


    Wake up, princess - you’re just 3 hours late. That basically means that my new sleeping pills work. I’ve seen my doctor yesterday and she wasn’t really proud of me, even if she never tells it.
    It’s not that I don’t make an effort. I do. But it’s still a step too small to make a difference.
    But I’ve been going out of my comfort zone quite a lot lately. My and my friend from work bought ticket for Orange Warsaw Festival to see Florence and The Machine. A month later I will see Angus and Julia Stone. I’m very excited because I missed last few shows I was supposed to see.
    I will be changing my job in two months. Nothing happened, I still really like my current one, but there was just an opportunity I decided to take. And I will have just 10 minutes ride instead of 40 minutes. That’s a good reason.

    An Uber driver asked me recently why do we need math in our lives, when we have smartphones and calculators. I was always terrible at math, my high school teacher wasps telling me constantly that I will never pass my finals. But I did. I failed math at the uni, but hey - I feel really good, knowing instantly how much I will pay for a thing on sale or how much I will be paid for a day of work. These are just basic things that is good to know and seeing people using smartphones to do that scares me.

    This week passed, like, immediately. I actually had first week of May off, this was the second one and I have really no idea what I was doing this whole time! Well, I know. I was asleep. And I binge watched the Alchemist. This show is so, so good omg! I felt attached to these characters from the first episode - highly recommend.
    I’m doing more and more to work on my books. Yes, two books. One in english and one in polish. This is a huge challange but hey, when I’m busy I don’t think. But you need to know that I’m taking all the time I need. No rush. Only words that will satisfy me in 100%.
    And you? How are you today?

    . Wednesday, May 2, 2018 .


    We all say it every month - this one's gone so quickly! Not fascinating at all, mostly sunny and warm. Here are some snapshots of this time.


    . Monday, April 23, 2018 .


    When everything wakes up - here I am dying again.
    There's no spring without blossoms, let's be honest. Instagram, facebook, youtube, the world is full of blooming flowers so here's my piece.
    I still remember when I had no strength to leave home to take photos two years ago - I felt like I was missing a lot. Too much.
    I'm so sick of the present, my doctor will hear all about it.

    Here, take the poem that was born a few days ago.

    I feel I'm dying again tonight. 
    Not the first or the last time. 
    I keep dying so often,
    It feels like a cold or a flu. 

    Dying but never really dead,
    What is even the point of that?
    It's like crawling through the thorns to the finish line,
    But never really reaching it. 

    I don't want to die for good. 
    There's so much I have to see. 
    It just keeps happening. 
    I'm a wounded roe,
    Who cannot reach the woods. 



    . Monday, April 16, 2018 .


    I'm quiet lately. I can only say that I went outside with my camera in ages. Enjoy.

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